I opened my old Yahoo account, as I do on rare occasion. The second message was from Groupon.com and the title was NYC Chocolate Brazillian Wax. So we all know what a Brazilian wax is? I did it once, Holy Mother of God! I almost roundhoused kicked the lady doing it from the awkward happy baby pose I was holding with the utmost intention and anxiety -it is just an awkward position naked. This was in order for her to reach them no no spots… I call them this because, NO! NO! NOPE!, to that ever happening again. I think she is secretly taking peoples taints and butt-hole parts after she rips them off and stockpiling them in her secret but-hole bunker. She was NOT taking things easy down there at all!
“Oh! You hairy,” she commented.. uh ya.. hair is there for a reason lady. Sad part though, I trimmed it before I went in. Who knew, I have a hairy asshole.
But a chocolate? I might just have to try. I mean, do I get to keep the chocolate in a bag and keep it in the fridge and pull it out to show my friends, share?? My little fuzzy chocolate starfish; can that be in the same category as sea monkeys? I would take that shit and pay for some ice mail and send it to my ex with a nice note.
Is it 70% cacao? Do we have options, liiiike… white chocolate, cookies N cream, peanut butter filling? oooo Brazillian Chocolate Truffles please! MElt all that up in that booty. It says its great for sensitive skin… Doesn’t Chocolate aid Acne.. oh wait that was a lie.. pshhh. Don’t want no taint acne.. damn that would take chafing to a whole other level.
“Ya so I got acne on my taint area due to this new Chocolate Brazillian.. but its supposed to thin the hair after a while, looking forward to that!”
A Chocolate Brazillian Wax. Well, I’ll be damned. That’s a thing! Go ahead Groupon, expand my mind some more.
Oh and to make it even more delicious! this is their photo for the Cupon… I’m just gonna leave that there to think about!